question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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