I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Randomize