there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
