If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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