ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
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