my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
