Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
