the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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