Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
