I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
