With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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