I'll bet she douches with gravy.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
