Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
