i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize