just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
