I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
