Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
