erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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