so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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