Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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