How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
