So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
