it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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