Non-Jews are for practice
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
