Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
