He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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