There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
