Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
