help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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