I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
