Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Randomize
