I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
This is the high leading the old right now
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
