great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
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