You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Im part way to drunk.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
