Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Randomize
