"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Randomize
