I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
