nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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