And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
