I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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