I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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