Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(619): View more from California

That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...

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(336): View more from North Carolina

There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.

(336): View more from North Carolina

This is god's gift to the unemployed.

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(318): View more from Louisiana

I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me

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(941): View more from Florida

If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?

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(404): View more from Georgia

you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?

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(757): View more from Virginia

I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos

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(253): View more from Washington

I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.

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