That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
