You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
