do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
