Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
