It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
