it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
