Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
