He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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