i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
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