i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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