This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
