he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
