the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize