hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Randomize