The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
