So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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