when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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