what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
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