I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
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