no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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